The contract

“Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.”

Since I read this quote from Murakami in his book What I Talk About When I Talk About Running, I have been revisiting it in my mind like my favorite song.

Yesterday, I had a thought of completing 10 laps of the track or road that we have in the society. It was just a thought, but an interesting one. I couldn’t get rid of it when I woke up at 4 AM today. I was oddly excited to hit the track after a 3-day break. I had been away on a pilgrimage trip.

The morning was slow today. It felt like I was waking up at 4 AM after a very long time, but it had only been three days. I woke up, did my daily rituals, and headed down with my phone in hand, playing kirtans. Kirtan is the only company I have at this odd hour of the day. It is 5:40 AM, and I am warming up my body by walking.

As I walk, my mind officially accepts running 10 laps as a challenge. It’s a significant moment when I sign a contract with myself to commit to something. The struggle always starts after signing the contract. The only witness is me, and my past records show that I tend to go easy on myself when things get tough.

It hasn’t been long since I took up running as a fitness activity. I’ve always liked the idea of running, but I never dared to run. Two weeks ago, when I ran for the first time on this track, I could barely clock 500 meters. It felt extremely challenging to even run that far.

Priyanshi, one of my friends, can run 3K. I had taken that as a challenge, to beat Priyanshi’s record. I was able to do that in a week’s time. It was a huge leap for me, from 500m to 3K. I remember telling everyone, friends, family. When I revealed the news to Priyanshi, she was super happy for me. After all, she was having a positive impact on some guy in some city without even knowing it. To be an inspiration to someone is divine.

I was already happy hitting the 3K mark, but it turns out, that wasn’t actually her record. She had gone on to run 5K straight during the Covid times. Well, good for me, I took that as a challenge too. This conversation happened just before I left for the 3-day trip.

Today, as I was walking to warm up, I had this thought in my mind: What if, by running 10 laps, I actually beat Priyanshi’s record? Things just got more interesting.

What I’ve realized is, the first lap or first 1 km is always going to be tough. Your body and mind are getting used to the rigorous strain you’re putting yourself through. I always, always ignore my mind during the first 1 km. Once that’s done, then you’re good to go. You won’t be attacked by any negative thoughts, no giving up, no “you’re not strong enough,” no “why are you doing this to yourself?” You just go on and on, listening to kirtans.

When I started the run, it was still dark outside. By the time I reached lap 4, the sky became more vivid. I could hear the birds singing. No signs of dogs yet. No signs of fellow morning walkers or runners either. I am always alone at this time. Completing 5 laps was significant, it made me believe that running 10 laps wasn’t a mad idea at all, and that I could actually pull it off.

6th lap.

7th lap.

8th lap.

9th lap, it's about time this ends. This is the second-last lap. My body was sweating like anything. Sweat dripping down my face was irritating. No matter how much I rubbed it off, it would come again and tickle my forehead and neck. I could feel slight discomfort in my stomach and knees. But as long as my mind was clear, nothing else mattered. I knew, “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.”

10th lap. My pace slowed down. My body was heated. I felt like I was on fire. Don’t get me wrong, I was enjoying the pain. I was enjoying how exhausted I was. I was enjoying every time my legs hit the ground and the way it made my knees feel. Strong is the word.

As I was ending the 10th lap, there were people cheering for me. There was my family and friends, and some random people I didn’t know. I could also see Priyanshi. She was way happier than when I had shared about completing 3K. I ran through the crowd with a huge smile on my face. I had completed 10 laps. Finally. The contract was honored.

As my heated body came to a halt, the crowd disappeared. I opened my STRAVA to check the kilometers covered.

It said, 6.80 km.